C H A P T E R S I X T E E N
"This is the End...Beautiful Friend, the End "
I've had it. writing depressing shit SUCKS !! so I'm gonna finish as best I can....
I came home from Kansas City with a huge sense of foreboding. in my heart I knew I had to quit Love/Hate. we couldn't go on, you see. Joe was already playing with ANOTHER BAND, 57 CROWN, having a good time. Skid was working 12 -hour days, couldn't rehearse, couldn't tour, no bass gear, nothing--Jon was gone, as usual. there was no band, really , there was nothing there. just this LAYLA record that I thought sucked that I had to finish. I had another solo band going, THE RED BALLOON. we had a bit of record interest from OZ Records, we actually show-cased for Sharon Osbourne and the rest of the staff. nothing came of it but the FEELING was there, you know, of something THAT COULD HAPPEN. I was rehearsing and booking shows for my solo band but there was always "Rubberina " , lurking in the background. I soul-searched and agonized for a long time over my decision. I'd been in this band for over 10 YEARS---ups and downs, bad and good, friends and enemies. and in the back of my mind my thoughts were that even if I DID do the record I wouldn't get paid---I'd go belly-up once again and in the end get nothing. I was right, of course. I never received a CENT for my small contribution to the Layla record. Jon engineered and played guitar and got nothing. Joe put in $2,500.00 towards the record and got nothing. I remember arguing with Joe at the time and him ASSURING me that I would get paid. he was to change his tune 6 months later....
and the bottom line was philosophically I'd reached a point where I didn't wanna do music that I DIDN'T WANT TO DO....the Credibility factor, the Rock Gods, whatever. so when Skid finally got a hold of me I said...no. I quit...
so there it was...he got Marq Torian to finish what was left and he took a picture of me from his wedding and did me up for the cover and that was it. done...
my band lasted another 8 or nine months but I had to deal with a couple of SERIOUS junkies and I'd felt that I deserved better than being a Guidance Counselor/Referee. Drugs suck, by the way...No One Wins.
CUT TO JANUARY 1998---I went to a Warrant show of all things and their manager takes me aside and asked me what was up with Love/Hate-- "not much" I said. " well, if you can get Love/Hate back together I can get you guys a deal " he said.
right.....SURE you can. but then I heard through the grapevine that
the Bulletboys and Bang Tango
were each getting record deals so I thought HMMM....opportunistic? hypocritical?
probably.... YEAH--DEFINITELY---
I called Skid up. we hadn't spoken for almost a year after the LAYLA thing. I told him what I'd heard and what was going on and I asked him if he wanted to put Love/Hate back together. he said NO--- too busy, he said, can't do it but YOU GOT MY BLESSING---GO AHEAD--I called Jon next and he agreed-- " I just wanna get PAID THIS TIME "he said--- I'll do my best...
Jon asked Cordell from Ugly Kid Joe to come down. he was doing squat so he agreed. then I called Joe. we too hadn't spoken in forever but I convinced him to give it a 2- month try.....
I won't go into what happened in Kansas City and the 5-week DEATH TOUR WITH DIO --if you wanna read it go to the Love/Hate page...look under HORROR...
after THAT fiasco I ended up joining L.A. Guns. I immediately went on tour with them and was pleased and surprised to see a couple of Love/Hate fans at each show. however I found that the majority of the L.A. Guns people never heard of Love/Hate or if they did they hadn't heard the music. L/H fans started coming up to me on tour and asking me about the new LOVE/HATE record.
"WHAT new record ?" I said.
" it's called IDOLS OF PERVERSITY. it's all over the Love/Hate web-site. Skid's writing it and he says you're singing on it..."
HMMM.... I went to the Love/Hate site . I knew he had put my stories up there but I had heard of no NEW L/H record.
when I went on the site I saw that he was bootlegging all our old CD's. allow me to explain. when SONY Records put $250,000.00 into the recording of "Blackout In the Red Room " they OWNED IT. they don't own the songs but they OWNED THE RECORDINGS OF THOSE SONGS. same with WASTED IN AMERICA. they own those RECORDINGS. Caliber Records owns LET'S RUMBLE. MAYHEM ( NOW SPITFIRE RECORDS) OWNS I'M NOT HAPPY. we could re-record the songs, of course, but all these labels paid $$$ for these recordings and you're not allowed to sell what's PREVIOUSLY OWNED.
in laymen's terms this is called PIRACY---anyone with a CD-burner can in theory become a "record company". but you know what? I didn't care, even though Joey or Jon or I weren't making a dime off these bootlegs. I knew he was suffering, I knew he was broke, I figured--" fuck it-he wrote those songs-let him collect..." I feel that way now. the part that bugged me was the LOVE/HATE RECORDING FUND. you know, "SEND US YOUR MONEY SO WE CAN RECORD AGAIN"---HELP US MAKE ANOTHER RECORD---I assumed he was putting this money away for another record.
when I finally came home Skid called me and I was waiting to hear about all the new songs he had written and all the money for the studio but there was none--
" I don't have any new songs " he said.
SO... in other words there IS NO "FUND"---
I felt funny about this. from then on I avoided the Question about when the new Love/Hate record WAS COMING OUT BECAUSE THERE NEVER WAS A RECORD ...
CUT TO JANUARY 1999----.
when I did the "Shrinking Violet" record with L.A. Guns I sent the
guy at Perris Records a copy of the old SINEATERS songs---just
to see if he dug it. he did and asked me if I could put it out.. I called Skid
and I told him that I wanted to do it... AS LOVE/HATE. we went round
and round on this. he didn't like the songs, he didn't feel they were "Love/Hate" enough.
but in the end he agreed, his rationale being--
" I guess if I can exploit Love/Hate you can TOO..."
ok...I get the logic. I put in my time, 10 years-plus. my voice IS the voice of Love/Hate, at the time Skid HAD no new songs so WHAT THE FUCK .
at the time Skid actually acknowledged that he HAD been promising people a new record via the web-site and we left it on good terms---
the record's out and some people really like it and some people probably think it's stinks but that's OK---sounds like the STORY OF MY LIFE----
POSTSCRIPT---me? I'm just doing what I've been doing my whole life. writing, enjoying life, trying to stay young in my mind, living, loving, drinking good wine, telling stories. anyone of you that doesn't agree with MY version of events can do YOUR OWN-- I did the best I could...
POSTSCRIPT: as of Sept. 1-- I am no longer singing for L.A. Guns. we couldn't make any money off the old line-up so Tracii made a fateful decision and got the old guys back. this was definitely a huge roll of the dice...if it works there will be lots of $$$ and a much larger profile--if it explodes the band has NO credibility left, whatsoever--in my opinion they CANNOT put another incarnation together...it would be a joke--so, that said, I truly hope that they are able to keep it together for some time and it doesn't all go to shit---
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